2004-07-19 - 7:32 a.m.
Depression, Welcome Me with Open Arms
I think I'm depressed. I don't wanna get out of bed in the morning. I don't want all these people around. I want some quiet time. Something more than a few stolen hours in the morning.
Argued with my father last night about his current state. (Last night, he was hardly able to stand.) "If you don't like it, take all your shit and leave," he said.
What the fuck is the response to that!? To just get in my car and go? I wanted to push him up against the wall, wrap my right hand around his throat, and just squeeze with all my might. How does one deal with unreasonable people? These days, I'm the bad guy in this house. I'm the unreasonable one.
Too many people in the house?
"You're crazy!"
Fourteen-year-old niece's boyfriend living in the house?
"What's WRONG with THAT?"
Father drunk every fucking day and night?
"Everyone has his own way of dealing with things."
Forty-year-old, drug-addicted brother gliding his dirty hands across the entire greasy, cheese surface of a pizza?
"If you don't like it, don't eat it! It's as simple as that."
WHAT THE FUCK, PEOPLE!!!!! I feel as if the world's gone mad. Wait!
You don't like what's going on the house? "Get the fuck out."
Is it as simple as that? Get out and don't look back?
Well.....Is it?
