2004-06-09 - 12:47 p.m.
Summertime and the Livin’ Ain’t Pretty
I’m amazed at how so many men go shirtless once the warm weather arrives. Perhaps I’m envious more than anything. I’m supposed to be a 33 year-old man, and at 5’7½” I struggle to reach 112 lbs. This being Chicago, many lardasses in probably the worst shape of their life run around half naked.
At just about five feet eight inches tall, my buddy Joey Ravioli can walk around shirtless, anywhere—-his hairy, beer gut distended over the waistband of whatever he is wearing.
I can feel people stare when I wear shorts. If I were to go shirtless, I’m sure people would think I’m from outer space. “Oh MY GOD!” they’d gasp. “What is THAT? How odd! Is that a guy? Look how weird! He must weigh about 120 pounds! There must be something WRONG with him!”
